Bits of Sweetness: Making a difference

Making a difference

Some days, I wonder about this whole Mama role I stepped into. Honestly, these shoes feel way too big . I wonder what God was thinking putting me in such an important position, helping shape our dear boys. Some days I am filled overflowing with love. I can't believe these two sweet boys are actually ours to love and treasure and snuggle.  Some days I groan at the thought. Really.. I mean really the things they do?! The things I find myself doing and saying that I never dreamed I would. (Tonight's fiasco was discovering that our youngest had somehow gotten half of his poop out of his diaper onto his knees. And everywhere. And more everywhere. And we had one package of wipes left. And an older son was bouncing all over wondering what fun he was missing out on and needed to get in on stat. So. awesome. ) Then there are the days where Andrew's door slams in frustration at the unfairness of his 5-year-old world. With threats like, "I am just never ever coming back inside again! I will just sleep on top of the car!" (Right. you have fun with that!) And words that hurt. (Seriously?! When did five year old's learn the words "hate you"?!) It hurts. Sometimes I have no idea what will work. What will click to help him learn. I mean realistically no, he is not going to be dubbed "door slammer" at college. He's not going to be throwing his pencils at his professors because they threw a pop quiz. But a part of me worries- will this make a difference?! And then this happens.

Andrew told me, "Mama, we need to just give a lot of my toys, and food, and books to the little boys and girls who don't have any. Then they can be happy! And we can show them how much Jesus loves them."
Because, that. Just...   that.  I don't care if he ends up being dubbed the "door slammer." (Ok so maybe a little bit mind.) If he knows what it means to live for something more, to show love to those who need it most, and to be Jesus here on earth, maybe this whole parenting thing is totally worth all those crazy crazy days.

And on the off days, where it's hard to see, you will find me spooning lots of coconut sorbet into my face, reminding myself of the sweet moments (dirt-covered as the might be!) that really aren't going to last forever, and that we sure as heck are making a difference in these kids lives. Sometimes we just have to step back to see it! And you know, we don't have to have all the answers either. It's ok!

What I realized I know-

I might not always have it together, but that's ok.

It might not seem like they are getting it or that our hard parenting work is making a difference, but they are. They really are. It just tends to show more around others than here at home (whyyy is that?!?! SOo many times someone else will have them and they go on about how great they were! Hmm save some of that for home will ya?!)

And last, I think we as parents are our own biggest critic. We overanalyze our kid's behavior. We criticize ourselves hard. We assume they're just not getting it. But they are. Sometimes I honestly struggle with remembering this, and some days I have a hard time keeping perspective. It's hard to not just throw in the towel so to speak.

Take heart though!

He can't get enough of those rocks 
I can't get enough of those toes!!

I see you fearless boy! I love you!

Drink up a few memories this weekend. Let it encourage your soul!

Linking up here with the lovely Mandy
And Kristine for Sunday Funday

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