According to the Beatles, all you need is love, love is all you need. What makes a great marriage though? What do you do when you start to lose "that lovin' feeling" (whoaaaa). I've been enjoying reading all the encouraging Love Dare posts that my friend Taush is hosting here.
I picked Day 35 because it's something that's near and dear to my heart.
Day 35: Love is Accountable
By nature, I don't think we really love the whole idea of having accountability in our lives. I mean, who really wants to think they need help? I've found over time though that outside perspective is super important! I think of the ambitious surfer who lacks skill and training, getting caught in a riptide and furiously paddling against the pull, losing strength every second. Help arrives but ambition and foolish pride refuse it, all to prove that no help is needed. That surfer isn't going to survive much longer before total burnout ensues. You can't go against the tide alone, and good friends who are seeking a godly marriage with you can help you when those riptides of life come (and they do!)
It's funny, isn't it, how we so desperately want life to turn out good, and yet, so often we pursue the things that aren't really that healthy for our relationships. We want people who care about us and yet we struggle to open up because it's hard being raw and honest (especially when people sometimes don't agree with our perspective!) It's such a sweet thing though, having people in our lives who care for us and are cheering us on. We need community. We need accountability.
I love this verse found in day 35 of the Love Dare- Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22
I think we want more out of relationships than so often, we are willing to allow. I think deep down we want the intimacy and closeness of true friends who are willing to say something that will help us, even if it hurts a little. It's easy to assume the worst when people approach us about something and think that they just don't understand, or that they are wanting to hurt us. It reminds me of this verse-
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15).
Friends, if we want marriages that are good, we have to be willing to brave what is hard and sometimes painful to get that which is beautiful. It's ironic writing this today, because we had plans to get together with some friends who are really good accountability in our lives. Alas, a 6:30 wakeup time for one of the kiddos and needing an early nap is meaning that probably won't be happening this week. (Gotta love how plans can go!!)
"Gaining wise counsel is like having a detailed road map and a personal guide while traveling on a long, challenging journey. It can be the difference between continual success or the destruction of another marriage. It is vital that you invite strong couples to share the wisdom they have gained through their own successes and failures."